Mithu Kuna 
Having social support while expecting can make for a happier and healthier pregnancy. Research also shows that it can reduce your chances of negative birth outcomes.
Social support can come from the people you currently know or new connections you form during pregnancy. It can mean having a listening ear or someone to provide pregnancy education.
In this guide, you’ll learn how to build your support team during pregnancy.
Pregnant and Lonely?
Many women feel lonely at some point during pregnancy. Your hormones and changing life can bring on pregnancy anxiety or depression. However, if you have a lack of social support in your life, that may also play a role.
It can be extremely difficult to be pregnant and alone. If you don’t feel you have supportive people in your life, going through a life-changing event can feel even more stressful. One study found that women without close family or friends—or those that lived far away from them—reported feeling lonely or helpless.
If you can’t strengthen the current social supports in your life (or if they’re toxic), consider how you can build new support. In this guide, we will suggest ways to find support outside of your current friend and family circles.
Importance of Support During Pregnancy
Pregnancy can be a joyous time but it can also bring anxiety and a sense of isolation. Your body is changing, there are many unknowns and your to-do list is probably only growing. Intuitively, we know that during times of stress, it’s important to have supportive people in our lives. During pregnancy especially, supportive people not only affect our mental health—but they may also affect our baby.
Research shows that the more support you have, the better off your mental health—and possibly your baby’s health.
Let’s take a look at some of the research that’s been done comparing people with low and high social support during pregnancy.
- A longitudinal 2021 study showed that people with low social support are at risk for substance use, mental illness and adverse birth outcomes. The authors concluded that strong social support improves pregnant peoples’ emotional and physical well-being, health and their ability to cope with stress.
- A 2023 study found that social support can ease emotional and physical pressures as well as improve the well-being of mom and baby.
- A 2021 study showed that social support from a pregnant person’s partner or family members can directly or indirectly act as a buffer against mental health struggles. The authors concluded that for women to be happier during pregnancy, we need to understand how social support affects well-being.
- A 2021 analysis of 67 scientific articles determined that low social support is significantly associated with the risk of depression, anxiety and self-harm during pregnancy. The authors suggested that policymakers should consider developing social support programs to reduce mental health problems in pregnancy.
As more research continues to be collected, we will continue to better understand the role social support plays during pregnancy. However, from the work so far, we can summarize that social support during pregnancy may:
- Improve your emotional and physical well-being
- Improve your health
- Reduce your risk of adverse birth outcomes
Support During Pregnancy – What Does it Look Like?
You might be wondering what social support during pregnancy looks like in action. What do other people do that provide support? Social support during pregnancy may mean:
- Someone calling you to ask how you are
- Attending appointments with you
- Having someone prepare you a meal
- Having a shoulder to cry on
- Taking care of your children
- Helping with chores
- Offering to go grocery shopping for you
- Painting the nursery
- Words of support or encouragement
- Words expressing empathy
- Providing pregnancy education
- Giving you a prenatal massage
Social support can be provided by:
- Your partner
- Friends
- Family
- Peers in prenatal classes
- Co-workers
- Neighbors
- Medical professionals
- Midwives or doulas
- Community, spiritual or religious groups
9 Ways to Build Your Pregnancy Support Team
One person cannot provide all the social support you need during pregnancy. Think of it like building a support team. Everyone plays different roles but together, they all help you to have a happier and healthier pregnancy.
Connect with other women
One study showed that participants got support through other women they knew, such as their mother, grandmother, sister, sister-in-law, women friends or women neighbors.
Pregnant women in this study said that these women helped by expressing care, sharing and expressing their feelings, supportive words and listening.
If you haven’t already, consider calling or visiting your women family members more frequently. Pregnancy is a great time to reconnect.
Connect with your partner
A supportive partner makes a big difference during pregnancy. Another common theme in the study above was that the pregnant women mentioned their supportive partners. They described how their husbands:
- Paid attention to them
- Encouraged them with supportive words
- Gave them space to talk about their pregnancy concerns
Consider ways you can strengthen your relationship during pregnancy. Talk to your partner about the importance of social support while you’re expecting.
Let people help
When someone in your life offers help, don’t feel bad saying yes. Pregnancy is the time to lay back and let others take over the chores. For example:
- Have your partner take the lead on the chores and childcare
- Say yes to neighbors offering to cook meals
- Allow your friend to clean your home or drive you to an appointment
- Have your mother babysit the kids or take you shopping
If you feel bad or guilty letting others help or asking for help, consider that others get a “helper’s high,” so it benefits them too!
Attend prenatal groups
Going to a prenatal group or class is a great way to meet other pregnant people. It’s a great way to build an ongoing connection and after the classes are finished, you can maintain your friendship over social media and in real life.
Prenatal classes may be offered by your local community health center or hospital. You can also ask your doctor about local options.
Lean into your healthcare providers
For some people, healthcare providers can be considered as sources of advice and information. Choose a doctor or OB-GYN that you trust and feel comfortable sharing your experience with and asking questions.
Consider a midwife
Midwives are known to offer more emotional and social support than most traditional doctors. While doctors are aimed at monitoring, diagnosing and treating issues, some may be less personable. Midwives can also be more available to talk with, provide education, ask questions or provide support when needed.
Depending on your health, personal choices and healthcare insurance, you may consider having a midwife as your pregnancy healthcare provider or in combination with a doctor.
Consider a doula
Doulas are another type of professional who can offer social support during pregnancy. Doulas have less education than midwives but they can also offer emotional and educational support. They typically guide you through the pregnancy, delivery and post-partum period.
Pregnancy chats
Although making connections and improving your social circle is ideal during pregnancy, you may also turn to online pregnancy chats. Sometimes, when you’re pregnant and alone with no one to turn to, using a chat to reach out for support is a great place to start.
You can find chats for:
- Professional pregnancy health advice
- Meeting online pregnancy friends through apps
- Meeting mom friends in your area through an app
To learn more, read Pregnancy Chat: Ultimate List of 12 FREE Online Chats for Support.
Spirituality
Spirituality can also act as a coping mechanism and potentially reduce your stress, according to one study. However, the authors also noted that some people experienced the opposite effect: spirituality increased stress for others.
If you do choose to use spirituality as a support tool during pregnancy, you may look beyond the traditional religions. While spirituality means going to a place of worship for some, for others it can mean:
- Yoga
- Breathwork or meditation
- Connecting with nature
- Serving or spending time in community
A Note on Domestic Abuse During Pregnancy
Domestic violence can be an isolating experience, especially during pregnancy. Know that it is never okay for your partner to physically or verbally mistreat you.
It’s important to take domestic abuse seriously at any time, but especially during pregnancy. The number one cause of death during pregnancy isn’t health complications, it’s murder. Abuse can be physical, emotional, sexual and/or financial.
To learn more about domestic violence during pregnancy and to see resources, read: Domestic Violence During Pregnancy (Tips +Resources).
P.S. Do You Have a Fetal Doppler Yet?
Fetal dopplers are pocket-sized devices that allow you to listen to your baby’s heartbeat while they’re still inside the womb. Using a probe and ultrasound gel, your baby’s beating heart can be the musical background of your next bonding experience.
